Chapter 10: The Love of a Father

the authors words in red

As this book is coming to an end I can't help but reflect on my state of mind when I first began. One thing for sure, it has been a timely one for me. 

I am so grateful for the wisdom between the pages, sprinkled with God's word throughout, this book has been a guide as my Heavenly Father has taught me some serious life lessons.

When we first began this study back in March I was battling fear each and every day, sometimes moment by moment. It had not even been a month since my heroin addicted son had been arrested for attempted robbery.  

Yet, the battle has subsided. 

Not much has changed in my circumstances. My son is still incarcerated. There are still many unknowns to his future.

Early on we discussed how God never intended for us to live in fear. As I continued to walk through the pages of this book and also peek into the lives of others walking with me. I began to grasp hold of the truth of God's word.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self discipline"

With this weapon in hand, along with much encouragement from brothers and sisters in Christ. I have been able to fight the good fight and emerge victorious from the raging battle I found myself in just a few short months ago.

In this chapter we focus on God the Father. How touching to read of the moment Mitch was able to accept unconditional love from Pat. 

"Later, as I reflected on the incident, I realized that Pat mirrored the character of our heavenly Father when he vowed to always love Mitch and never let him go."

Yes, our heavenly Father is the perfect example for us as we love our children. As Paul and I have raised our children we have tried to point them to God by taking them to church, teaching them day by day. Trying our best to be witnesses for Christ. 

In spite of all we have done, the eldest of the four walked away from the lessons of his youth. In doing so he walked right into the arms of evil. Drugs took over his life. He was twisted into something unrecognizable to those of us who have known and loved him. As I helplessly watched this transformation take place over the course of four and a half years, many times I would say things like "who are you?" or "this is NOT who you are" I remember distinctly one time after a four day drug binge he had come home to retrieve some clothing. I looked him right in the eye and said "I don't know who you are anymore".  He had no answers for me, he just shrugged and left. 

Micca writes "sometimes because of things that happened in our past, we think the Lord could never love us."

This is what happened to Brett. Not only did he think that God could never love him, he also thought that we could no longer love him.

Sometimes I wonder how I would have dealt with this trial outside of the love of God. As I have walked this road I have been exposed to many different opinions on how to handle addiction. "Tough Love" is a phrase that is thrown around a lot. Often I cringe when I hear certain versions of this "tough love". Basically it is not love at all, it is self preservation. It is abandonment. 

God's love transforms. 

"The goal of God's love is not to approve of our sin. It is to transform our lives through faith in His Son" While we must suffer the cost of our actions, God is not out to condemn us. He's out to set us free from the chains of sin that bind us. Therefore we have nothing to fear."

I am so very thankful that I have not had to endure this trial with my son outside of the love of God. He is my perfect example. He has loved me with an everlasting love.  As He loves me in perfect holiness, He enables me to love my son the same.