Saturday, July 24, 2010


I was clipped by an arrow yesterday.

"In addition to all this take up your shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one"

Evidently I had set my shield aside while I caught up on some blogs I like to visit.

 No worries, just a flesh wound. 

The blog I visited is that of an up and coming writer. He is truly talented. He has a book coming out some time this year. I plan to purchase it straight away.
Yesterday he posted a poignant story about an old friend named Joey, a friend who happened to be a drug addict. The story was about starting over.
I was enjoying the story until the end.
In the end the addiction wins ....
I'm left wondering... is this a true story? did the writer really have a friend from childhood turned drug addict?

Its hard to tell with good story tellers.
I think that some of them are masters at taking their day to day lives and spinning them into wonderful tales.

or perhaps

they are good at taking the truth and embellishing it just a tad sometimes ... or maybe a lot like James Frey did with A Million Little Pieces

Either way for this particular story I'm left wondering ....
and hurting

Wondering why we like to hear sad stories like this. There was a time when a story like this would have moved ... but not wounded me.

But today these words .... "they found him in his apartment" "The needle was still in his arm" pierced me like an arrow.

As the arrow struck I heard a whisper ..... ' the drugs will win, they always do"   

I reached for my shield of faith. So strong, so sure.

Alas the damage has been done. I am hurting.

Hurting for all the Joey's who believed the lie.
For their mothers, mothers who suffer along side watching helplessly as the lie becomes truth.

No, our story will not end this way. For every Joey out there I believe there is someone who fought the battle and won.

Those stories just don't have the same effect in the end ... hardly ever a gasp, a skipped breath.

But for me, those are the stories I long to hear today, I need to hear.

Someday ... I will tell my story.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Altered Plans

Years ago, a much younger, childish self thought she was in love.  Dreams were dreamt, plans were made. I saw a future with a young man.
and then, something happened ...   his path was altered .... turned away from mine.
Our plans were frustrated. There would be no future for us. Once again I was walking alone.

not really

It was not long before I met the man who would become my husband.

When I think of the man I lost I remember him with warm affection. He was kind. I hope his path has led him to Christ.
I thought I loved him ..... but have since come to realize that love is not the fickle, self serving emotion I embraced back then.

No, love is so much more

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

I have been married for twenty six years now. I know what love is. God's word tells me .....
I see it every day in the eyes of the man I married

I am so very blessed and thankful for altered plans