Monday, June 25, 2007

Why Tinker?

I was stumped for a bit. Trying to think of a name for my blog. Finally I decided. I was thrilled to have come up with it actually. As I happily started putting it together one of the kids strolls by the computer. "Hey Joel, check this out" "Look at my blog". "Geez mom isn't that a bust on dad?" Figures! No, it's not a bust on dad! My name is not Tinker anymore but I am still a part of the Tinker family, as I'm arguing my point Lindly agrees with Joel. AHA! So Lindly, once you get married are you going to cease to be part of our family? Hmmmm "No, I guess not."......Vindication!!
I married at 19. So young because I just happened to find my other half then. I was not one of those little girls who dreams of a fairy tale wedding, nor did I give it much thought until it was actually upon me. I did, however have dreams of being on my own, having some kind of fabulous career, maybe traveling... Amazing how life can turn out so different than we intend sometimes.
So at 19 I became one half, bound forever to the funniest, smartest, coolest person I had ever come across. The very best thing about being married to Paul is the laughter. He has always made me laugh. Not just a giggle here and there but great big belly laughs on a very regular basis. I think it was then that I kind of left a part of who I was behind as I sought to become one with Paul. That's what marriage is, blending, becoming, giving and taking.
I am so happy to say that after 23 years I do truly feel one with him. I see our marriage as a gift from God. I have left behind parts of me that needed to go. I think I am less selfish because of his example. I have lightened up quite a bit and can laugh at myself more now than then.
Overall I think I have taken the best parts of Paul and made them mine. I hope he can say the same.
These days I find myself thinking of the younger me, the girl who was spontaneous, a bit of a spitfire, adventurous. While I love who I have become in this wonderful family Paul and I have made there is a tiny little part missing. That is Tina Tinker and this blog along with other things on the horizon is a part of bringing her home. Hence the title of the Blog.

Friday, June 22, 2007

On being little

Yesterday while at work a co worker of mine commented on how little I am. I can't say this is the first time someone has commented on my stature. While I've become somewhat accustomed to remarks like this it always disarms me a bit. I don't see myself as little. I never have. Even when I was a child and the smallest in my classroom. (although by the fourth grade there was usually someone smaller than me).

It has caused me to ponder the whole self image thing. Does anyone really see themselves as they are? I've tried to look objectively at myself since and you know what? I still don't see "little".

Monday, June 18, 2007

It's Late

This is fun, even though it's late. I should be in bed. I still have to make time for cookies and milk. That makes it even later! Oh well, some things are worth it and this is one of them. The beginning of finding me.