Friday, June 12, 2009
Rest and Hope
Last night as I was visiting my son , God interrupted me.
I welcomed the interruption as it was an encouragement. I don't even recall exactly what we were discussing when I felt God's presence and the admonition to "enjoy this moment".
As I looked at Brett my heart overflowed with love. Love for him and love for my Heavenly Father.
If you have read any of my posts here you would know that my relationship with my son is one that has been filled with pain and heartache. When I first began this blog I had no idea that it would become a vehicle to process my agony. As the header reads, I first had a desire to express the creative side of myself that had long been buried.
This was written quite some time before I was to discover how truly lost Brett was. It was originally posted in October 2008 but I had been working on it for awhile before I finally posted it.
Brett and I both have a strong desire to share our story. He has an amazing testimony of forgiveness and grace that came to him in a jail cell. Hopefully soon he will be able to share that with those God would bring his way.
Part of that testimony is a dream he had where he and I were speaking to a large group of people, telling them our story.
Our desire is to offer hope to those like us. For I know all too well the despair that comes with the knowledge that your child is caught in the grip of drugs. I have read of families ripped apart, children abandoned to their own sin and addiction and sadly too many mothers left to bury a child. Those stories are far too common.
I do not know what Brett's side of the story will entail. I have only seen glimpses of the destruction that drugs have wrought in his life.
For now we are a work in progress. In the early days of his arrest and incarceration I was overcome with fear and uncertainty. Today I walk in faith and take each day as it comes. When the temptation to worry over the future comes I remember God's word "I take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ". Worry does no good and it robs me of joy.
I believe that is why God called me to "enjoy this moment". Life has been hard, there has been heartache but it has been replaced with forgiveness, healing and ..............